So New Orleans is flooded. Now I'm just waiting for T-Shirt Hell to capitalize off of it.

Those assholes over there think they're so fucking funny. Their shirts are insulting, racist, discriminating, tasteless, and just down-right rude.

Imagine that, they already have Hurricane Katrina shirts!

Those sick bastards should be taught a lesson. Everyone should buy lots and lots of their shirts and burn them! That'll show them!

Celine Dion recently criticized President Bush on CNN. On a recent Larry King program, Ms. Dion stated: "How come it's so easy to send planes in another country, to kill everyone in a second, to destroy lives at a time when Americans need to serve their own country. We need to serve our country, and be there right now to rescue the rest of the people. We need the cash, we need the blood, we need the support, right now we need the prayers."

We all know that Ms. Dion's thoughts and opinions are exactly what this country needs right now, but I can't help but bring up one tiny little point…

You're from Canada you stupid bitch.

Keep your god-damn Canadian opinions to yourself you ignorant dyke.

Do we come up to Canadia and spew our opinions about how you're running your government? Well, yeah, probably. But that's because we're better then you.

Celine Dion, I hope you choke on a clubbed baby seal's bloated carcass.

How’s that for a lack of updates?

So I took a vacation from the site for a while. I figured what the hell, its summer and there really isn’t much going on. Boy was I wrong.

I generally stay away from political stuff. There are already too many people out there spewing political opinions around, one more would just be overkill. However, I think I’ll make an exception today.

One of the big things that happened was United States Code 2257. On the surface this new law seems to only affect those who produce or publish pornography. If you read further into it, you will realize that this is not the case.

With the enactment of United States Code 2257, all pictures deemed pornographic are automatically labeled as child pornography unless you can provide extensive documentation stating otherwise. The burden of proof that was once put on law enforcement officials and prosecutors is no longer. “Innocent until proven guilty” is now nothing but a pipe dream.

Now that this basic right, in this instance, has been revoked, what is next? Under what other circumstances can elected officials now revoke this right?

Imagine if a body was found within 50 miles of your primary place of residence. It is unknown whether this person’s fate was accidental, self-inflicted, natural or malicious. Thanks to a new law, all people within a 50 mile radius of any deceased person are now guilty of murder UNLESS you can prove, through documented sources, that you had nothing to do with the circumstances surrounding the death, regardless of the manner of death.

Thanks to a new law police officers can pull you over for drinking and driving without any probable cause or reason other then the fact that you are driving. Once pulled over, you have to prove to them unequivocally, through documented sources, that you were not drinking. There is no breathalyzer, no field sobriety test, and no blood test. You have to produce a signed and notarized document stating that between the moment you entered the vehicle and the exact moment you were pulled over you have not imbibed any alcohol what-so-ever.

This country is sending its troops around the world to fight for the freedom of other countries, meanwhile the politicians here are slowly taking our freedoms away. It’s utter bullshit.

I changed the layout of the site a little. Nothing big, just moving some shit around. One thing I did do it take down all the porn. This way there was no question about what was and what wasn’t 2257 compatible. But don’t worry, more porn is coming your way. Just stay tuned.

Here’s some to hold you over.

In case you haven't heard the good news, Michael Jackson has been acquitted. I'd like to take a moment here to express my feelings on this matter. I believe that justice has been served. From day one of the trial, this website has stood behind The King of Pop. We have believed in his innocence, and have known that the truth will finally be revealed. Mr. Jackson and all of his loving, loyal fans have been vindicated.

I tried to reach Mr. Jackson for comment, but he was busy celebrating his victory. Apparently it is hard to talk with your tongue rammed in the asshole of a pre-pubescent retard.

Way to go Michael!

Armageddon is near! I have seen the signs!

What exactly, you may ask, are the signs of the apocalypse? Well, shut the fuck up and I'll tell you.

Some may say that fire will rain down from the sky. Some may say that darkness will sweep the land. Some may say that terrible plagues will infest the planet.

I say that it is two big fat fuckers standing in line a the grocery store demanding a rain check for ice cream that is on sale and sold out.

If you are so god-damned over weight that you have to walk sideway through the checkout isle, you don't need any more fucking ice cream.

If you are so morbidly obese that breathing causes you to become out of breath, you don't need any more fucking ice cream.

If there are only two of you, and you both require your own shopping cart, you don't need any more fucking ice cream.